Whether you’re a Big O-Pro (professional orgasm-er) or you’ve not yet had an orgasm and are looking for help finding your first big O, these top 11 orgasmic tips are here to help you enjoy the journey to orgasmic bliss - alone or with a partner!
Orgasmic Tip 1: Become an explorer
Exploring on your own is essential to you becoming familiar with the more sensitive parts of your body and the different kinds of touch that you enjoy. Experiment by touching yourself all over - don't just head straight between your legs as soon as you feel excited. Try to hold back reaching down and play with as many other parts of your body as you can. See this as an exercise in solo foreplay, tease yourself and find out what new sensations this can bring to your orgasmic journey. If you feel comfortable, share some of your sexy self-pleasure notes with a partner, and invite them to give you a hand!
Orgasmic Tip 2: Enjoy the ride!
Sex and masturbation can feel good - really, really good - before, during, and after orgasm. It can feel great without orgasm or paired with one. The journey of having pleasure, stimulation, intimacy, or connection is worth soaking up every step of the way. Being goal-oriented during sex or solo play can create a lot of stress and pressure, and shift focus away from what feels good. So take the scenic route, and linger in the places that feel good. After all, life's a journey! You'll be surprised how different sex can feel once you remove orgasm as the main goal (for you, and your partner/s)
Orgasmic Tip 3: Kegels, Kegels, Kegels
The pubococcygeal muscles (aka PC muscles, pelvic floor muscles, or Kegels) play an INCREDIBLY important role in your sexual health and pleasure. Strengthening your PC muscles can help prevent incontinence, increase elasticity and lead to stronger orgasms (queue multiple-orgasms). Because these muscles surround the entire genital and anal area, exercising them can even feel pretty darn good...
If you really want to vamp up your vagina's orgasmic potential, try using a set of kegel balls for exercise. The Je Joue Ami is the world's first 3-step kegel set, with three progressive weights encased in medical-grade silicone, so you can work your way up as your yoni gets stronger!
Orgasmic Tip 4: Breathe!
Holding your breath can be a sign of tension and anxiety, but for many of us, it pairs with the muscle clenching that happens when we get close to orgasm. Taking deep breaths into the belly can help activate the vagus nerve, which is responsible for many different types of sensory responses. When paired with deep breathing, it communicates with the diaphragm to tell the body to relax. Being relaxed makes the body more receptive to touch and penetration, and also better able to access the muscular release of an orgasm. So basically, breathe + relax = orgasmic bliss.
Orgasmic Tip 5: There is SO much more to life than penetration!
The media would have us believe that simultaneous orgasm from penetrative sex is, not only the norm but also the Holy Grail of sex - the ultimate end goal. Yet for most people, orgasm from penetrative sex alone is very difficult, nay, IMPOSSIBLE to achieve. Luckily, there are infinite ways to have an orgasm, and no one type of orgasm is more valuable than another. Remember to explore all of the erogenous zones including, but not limited to the neck, nipples, clitoris, balls, taint, and anus. Why not do everyone a favor and enlist the help of a trusty vibrating cock ring - it'll feel good for all involved, especially our good friend the clitoris.
Orgasmic Tip 6: Get Buzzing for some Good Vibes
Vibrations are amazing for people who are trying to achieve orgasm because of the amount of sustained stimulation and power they can provide. Unlike our hands or mouths, which need to take breaks or can only move so fast, a vibrator keeps going for as long as it takes (as long as the batteries are fully charged)! Vibration helps the body relax, increases blood flow to the area, and provides a range of intense stimulation to any pleasure center in the body. Internal vibrators, such as Uma can be used to stimulate the g-spot or vaginal walls, while compact external vibrators like the classic Je Joue Mimi, can provide external vibrations that carry deep into the clitoral tissue. To surround the vaginal and vulva area with vibration, consider a rabbit vibrator like Fifi. The possibilities are endless, and we're definitely buzzing!
Orgasmic Tip 7: Switch it up
Changing positions can literally give you a new angle on your own pleasure, rather than sticking to a routine that may not always work to get you off. Generally speaking, positions in which the receiver has a wider range of motion (such as receiver on top or doggy style) allow the receiver to have more control over the angle, depth, and speed of penetration. Switching positions can also serve as a mental reset. For example, if you’re accustomed to always masturbating on your back, try doing it on your stomach to give your body and mind a change of scenery and a new range of pleasure possibilities.
Orgasmic Tip 8: Use LOTS of lube
Lube is essential for better sex and masturbation because touch and penetration can feel uncomfortable or sometimes painful if there’s too much friction. Lube helps keep things slick, reduces the risk of chafing or microabrasions, and it also carries vibration and touch really well. An excellent tool for becoming orgasmic.
Orgasmic Tip 9: Take it slow and prolong the experience
For most of us, orgasms don’t just happen, and in fact, having an orgasm can take quite some time. Starting with a lot of foreplay and warm-up can pump up arousal and desire. Layering sensations, and building up from light, slow touch, to faster, more intense or direct touch, can often lead to deeper and more intense orgasms. For more advanced players “edging”, or repeatedly coming close to having an orgasm, then stopping, can also lead to a much more intense orgasm in the long run.
Orgasmic Tip 10: Communicate and work on it together!
Partnered sex is all about co-creation. If you’re having a hard time having an orgasm during sex, let your partner know what you’re struggling with and suggest ways in which they can support your pleasure during sex. Offer positive feedback about what’s working in your existing sex, then make requests based on what you’ve learned about your own pleasure or things you might be curious about. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with you, and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with your sex life, even if you’re having a hard time getting off.
Orgasm doesn’t have to be the end-all and be-all of sex, but becoming orgasmic, having multiple orgasms, or having stronger orgasms can add a different dimension to your sex life. Remember that sex should center around pleasure, desire, communication, and consent. Use these tools to explore and expand your pleasure horizons!