What if I told you that all bodies with a penis hold a magical little pleasure bean inside of them, just waiting to be found? A gland that when stimulated through the rectum, can bring forth immense pleasure, AND even promote your health?
What we are talking about here is the infamous P-Spot. And yes, by P-Spot I mean the male prostate gland, or as I like to call it: The Secret Male G Spot.
As a heterosexual womxn, introducing this topic to cisgendered heterosexual men can be one of controversy. Many cis-het men feel conflicted when talking about prostate stimulation considering the only way to do it is through anal stimulation. Anal stimulation has (incorrectly) for a long time been associated with homosexuality in men, so first off I am here to change that! As humans, we have the right to enjoy every part of our bodies without shame, stigma, or restrictions. Hell, if I had a prostate, I would damn sure be a master of stimulating it!
So, what is the Prostate?
The prostate gland is a male reproductive organ about the size of a walnut that sits behind the bladder (sexy, right?!). The prostate makes prostate fluid, which is a key component in the finished product of semen. Since this gland is muscular, its key function is to use those muscles to push prostate fluid and finished seminal fluid through the urethra during male ejaculation.
This gland also happens to sit right on top of the rectum, which makes the anus a convenient access point for prostate finger stimulation.
Locating The P-Spot...
Given the sensitive nature of the prostate, stimulation can be euphorically sensational. To locate the P Spot, insert your finger into the rectum about midway (using LOTS of lube of course), curving your finger towards the direction of the penis. The Prostate, or P-Spot, will feel like a very small, walnut shaped bump. Even just the simple action of gently stroking the P Spot can cause incredibly pleasurable sensations, often resulting in an erection and even orgasm!
Why is stimulation to the P spot so enjoyable?
Through research, it is hard to determine why manually stimulating the prostate is so enjoyable. Yet the results seem overwhelmingly positive, even though there isn’t a clear scientific answer as to why (At this point! It’s still an incredibly under-researched topic). It has been shown time and time again that prostate massage can help with erectile dysfunction, intensify orgasms, promote prostate health and even help to prevent prostate cancer!
Prostate Massage 101
A prostate massage can be easily accomplished through finger play, either by yourself or with a partner. Located conveniently two to three inches inside the rectum, it will only take one or two fingers to really rock your prostate world.
When entering the rectum, there are a few things to keep in mind:
- It is your butt, so it’s a good idea to clean the area lightly inside and out. You can do this by rinsing with water and lightly inserting a finger inside to clear out any poop that could be lurking there (don’t worry, this is totally normal!)
- Your rectum does not self-lubricate, so make sure to have plenty of lube on hand! (excuse the pun). I always recommend a good water based lube like Intimate Earth Soothe Anal Lube, especially if you plan to use a toy later.
- Condoms or latex gloves can be worn over the fingers if you’re at all worried about cleanliness. This is also essential for anyone with long nails or hard skin which may cause irritation.
Anal stimulation takes practice and warming up properly is key. Always relax the anus before trying to insert any fingers. Use breathing techniques to help calm yourself down and start by slowly stroking the rim of your anus until you get used to the sensations and can feel your muscles starting to relax. Once you are ready, take a deep breath in and insert your finger slowly on the exhale. Remember to take your time and go slow. Your anus will start to relax as it gets used to the sensation, then you can start trying small movements in and out with your finger. This will help your body get warmed up for the next stage: finding that p-spot!
Once you/your partner feels warmed up, make sure to apply an extra helping of lube into the mix. For beginners, it’s best to start with using only one finger (you can build up to using more fingers once you/your partner is used to the sensation).
Many of my partners like to receive a prostate massage whilst laying on their backs, for it is the easiest way for me to access their prostate. Inserting my finger, I gently curve it towards the penis until I feel a small ridged bump (about the size and feel of a walnut). That’s right friends, we have found the prostate!
Keeping my finger curved, I lightly stroke back and forth in a “come hither” motion, while constantly checking in with my partner. I like to ask what speed and pressure they like, if the curvature of my finger is good, and if they would like dual stimulation. (If your partner is on their back, try stroking their prostate while also stroking their penis – I’m told this is sensational…)
For those quick-learners who have already mastered the beginner slopes of prostate massage, a more complex move is to give oral sex whilst also massaging the P-Spot. None of my partners have ever stood a chance against this move! The crème de la crème of sexual stimulation and a great way to bring forth the infamous prostate orgasm! I am told this feeling is beyond mind blowing…
The Best P-Spot Toy
A hands-free way of finding p-spot bliss is to use toys – AND this can feel even more sensational than just fingers alone! Personally, I love it when my partner uses butt toys as keeping them in while we go about our usual play adds intense pleasure for them!
The Je Joue Nuo vibrating butt plug can be used by anyone, regardless of gender, but it is widely known as the holy grail for Prostate Owners. The unique shape of this butt plug is designed to directly stimulate the prostate and has enough girth to really apply the pressure needed for a mind-blowing p-spot orgasm. It really is a fantastic prostate massager!
Given that this toy is larger than a finger, go slow when inserting it (I like to apply a water based lube to both the anus and the toy). I’ve found that my partners prefer to insert the toy themselves, after being properly warmed up with finger play of course! The feeling of inserting the first portion of the plug is widely known to be the most sensational and therefore intimidating. Once inserted, the Nuo sits comfortably inside the rectum and between the butt cheeks with its super thin flare (REMEMBER: NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR BUTT THAT DOESN’T HAVE A FLARED BASE!!)
The NUO has 3 easy buttons to switch between seven vibration patterns and five intensities. But what makes the Nuo so user-friendly is the fact that you can control the vibrations through the Je Joue App – totally hands free! This means you can also wear the Nuo P-Spot massager while you’re out and about for some discreet, saucy fun. Who doesn’t love a little thrill?!
P-spot fun is for everyone
If you happen to have a prostate, the time to go find your p-spot is definitely now!
The idea that prostate stimulation is associated with homosexuality is silly and outdated. A het-cis man can greatly enjoy P Spot play without it in any way affecting his sexuality. The fact this argument still has to be made is both sad and frustrating. A tragedy for all prostate owners out there who are being denied mind blowing P-Spot orgasms!
Connecting with our bodies and all the pleasure they have to offer us is our birthright. We all deserve to explore our bodies and be on this grand lifelong exploration of pleasure, together.
Consider P Spot play as a new adventure for yourself, and for your partners! I guarantee, you won’t be disappointed!